negligee on bedSex and Why?

This is one of those posts that you are afraid to write. I’m afraid of writing it, because I ‘m doing a dangerous thing:asking questions about sex and religion. There is no snark or controversy- courting here.

Sometimes I have answers, but this time I have nothing but questions to which I am sincerely seeking enlightenment. These questions about religion and sex have troubled me for as along as I can remember. There seems to be a disconnect.

Here we go. Ready?


WHY is sex treated as equivalent to spiritual death in so many religious interpretations?

Why is whom you love or when you love seemingly worse than whom you kill, envy, steal from or even destroy with lies and gossip? Why is the simple fact that some love at all a subject of judgment or controversy on a par with high treason?

If having sex in some situations is a sin, why do so many treat it like the absolute worse one, one punishable by death or, at least, leprosy?? Based upon what?

Why is there a hierarchy of sins at all, other than the Ten Commandments?

The Bible tells us to not fear more times than it tells us to not have sex. Isn’t it in fact, fear that leads to all the other sins? Envy, fear of not having enough or as much as the next guy, fear that he will take it away, hatred of those who are different and wars to stop them or protect ourselves from them arise from that fear. Has sex ever started a war?

Why do beautiful, healthy women with God-given sensuality dress like 1950s librarians in church or when they are with religious people? Are they afraid that someone will think that they are having sex or might want to in the future? Didn’t God give them the sensuality, the beauty and the ability to fully experience them both? Who encourages these 1950s librarians to attempt to disguise or outright kill this God- given part of themselves? Why do some Christian women feel and bow to the need to Dowdy Down?

Is it sex that we fear? Should we? It is undoubtedly powerful and sometimes not in a good way, but will attempts to ward it off like wearing garlic around one’s neck to repel a Vampire really work?

This phenomenon has always disturbed and frightened me, as a teenager, as young adult and now, as a woman married with a daughter. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t fully be her beautiful self.


Why do descriptions of the Proverbs woman sound like something I could never reach? Why do I secretly never want to reach that standard? I haven’t threshed much wheat, or sewn my own clothes on a loom lately. I can’t help but notice that she sounds more like a beast of burden than beautiful, healthy vibrant healthy radiant advertisement for a loving creator.  But, maybe it’s just me.


There was a conference I attended some time ago that echoed an author’s message of “Fear the Cage!” Amen. Isn’t the message of hiding or denigrating one’s sexuality in any way just like putting a beautiful songbird in a cage?Love_birds_in_cage


We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty” – Maya Angelou

Image by Ks. mini


If anyone has any answers, I’d love your thoughts.